Introspection · Relationships

Its P.E.F now

After public display of affection (P.D.A), now its time to attack public expression of feelings (P.E.F)

Blame-game so easily passes on the guilt from one shoulder to another, and is often used as a means to avoid introspection and tell the world, how actions of others are creating problem. My target today for the blame-game are social media tools like Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp and et al. which are used by people to express their feelings, and I mean here of personal nature. This topic was running in my mind for quite some time now, however yesterday when I saw a post on FB where my friend was thanking his wife for giving him some book as gift, it just triggered the need to vent out my frustration.

Well, these kind of posting are not new nor unusual. However, this post gave me a sense of incompleteness and even a bit of jealously. The reason is me and my partner are not connected on FB and hence such thing happening to me is impossible. In fact the wife of my friend, is my best friend and when I had given her the complete Calvin and Hobbes, she had also thanked me on FB. Is the feeling that my best friend did P.E.F not as great as if it was done by my partner. Nah. Still I was sad. When will I learn to appreciate the things I have, and not focus on what I don’t !!

That was just one event. There have been many occasions, on which I must have felt the same. Taking example of Whatsapp, so many of us put snaps of families, or spouse, or being together and the status message also reflect the same. Thankfully we (my partner and me) are connected on Whatsapp and other messengers, but it has never happened that he has ever kept our snap or any status for me as such. Earlier, he used to have pics of his friends, or statuses for wishing birthday or congratulations on certain achievements. Now its standard. (May be after I brought this discrimination to his notice, he stopped this altogether, even for his friends). I used to wonder, why not me. I do know the reason, still that yearning was always there.

It makes me wonder, what kind of personality I am. Instead of focusing on the feelings, am I going by the public display of the same? Doesn’t sound right. I know each one of us has his or her own way of expressing care, affection and love. So when that does not sync with ours, should it create problem? Should it leave you with feeling of jealousy? Incompleteness? No, it shouldn’t.

I may sound like double-minded (I guess I am), still expressing the feelings, not necessarily in public, but in form of words or actions, definitely helps to keep the fire burning in the relationship. The assurance and reassurance, that the care and love still exists, or in fact has deepened with time, can act wonders. I guess, nobody expects nor asks this always (who knows that may be boring too), but doesn’t hurt to express the feelings, if not often, at least once in a blue moon.

So what are you (and also me) waiting for.. just catch hold of your near and dear ones and show them that you care. See them happy and see them smile.. that definitely makes life worth living. Isn’t it?

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