So.. did I smile??

One of my previous blogs was regarding smiling at yourself.. the underlying message being you need to feel happy and beautiful from within, only then the same is reflected outside..

This reminded me of one of the most memorable days of my life.. my wedding.. while my fourth wedding anniversary is just round the corner, I still freshly remember the D DAY.. well.. but for all wrong reasons.. I am not a person who likes to be the “center of attraction”.. I get very conscious by the thought itself that I will be judged based on how I look.. how I present myself.. and to be frank..  have never been able to do anything great..

Wedding (any function for that matter) made me nervous.. as everybody around me.. definitely would be looking at me..  there will lot of photographs and all.. and for the first time in my life.. I was doing make-up.. which just worsened my fears.. my uncomfortableness was at its peak.. After getting ready I come out.. my hubby looked at me and said.. hey you have overdone make-up.. and that was it.. I thought I failed miserably.. while I had to smile all through the day.. internally I was feeling terrible.. May be I expected encouraging words from him as I myself was feeling so low..

Four years have passed and still the image is fresh in my mind.. I am unable to forget it.. I avoid seeing my wedding album or anything related to it.. yeah that’s my problem I cannot forget..

While I am writing this, again I went into flashback and was thinking.. would things have been better if I had positive approach myself?? If I was relaxed and calm from within.. would that have made difference to my appearance.. Probably yes.. but there is nothing I can change about that day..

Now that gives me another food for thought.. learn to forgive yourself.. and of course had also read this recently in the book.. Tuesdays with Morrie.. that’s the next blog

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